Helping Kids Handle Failure Like a Pro
“Failure isn’t the end of the story; it’s where the learning happens.”
I know you know this, failing feels awful. Whether it’s a missed goal, a tough grade, or a fumbled performance, no one likes to fall short—especially kids. But here’s the twist: Failure isn’t the end of the story; it’s where the learning happens. Helping kids see this isn’t just about making them feel better—it’s about teaching them how to bounce back stronger.
So, how do you turn failure into a stepping stone instead of a roadblock? Let’s dive into a couple of strategies that you can use right away. Bonus: no motivational posters needed (unless you really like those).
Applied Hope Tip #1: Reframe Failure as a Step, Not a Stop
Here’s the thing: Kids often see failure as proof that they’re not good enough. But failure is actually proof that they’re trying. It’s our job to help them see it that way.
How to Do It:
Instead of saying, “It’s okay, you’ll do better next time,” try: “I know you worked hard for this, and even though it didn’t go as planned, every mistake teaches us something new. If you had to pick, what do you think you learned from this?”
For younger kids, you can keep it simple: “Mess-ups mean you’re learning! What do you think, what should we try differently next time?”
Why It Works:
When kids learn to reframe failure, they stop fearing it and start seeing it as a normal (and valuable) part of growth. This mindset not only builds resilience but also encourages them to take more risks, which is where the real magic happens.
Applied Hope Tip #2: Celebrate the Comeback, Not Just the Win
Failing is tough, but trying again? That’s a real victory. Praising the effort to get back up shows kids that persistence matters just as much—if not more—than success.
How to Do It:
Say something like, “I know you were nervous after missing that first shot, but you kept going and gave it your all. That’s courage right there.”
If they’re hesitant to try again, remind them: “Every time you get back up, you get stronger. Let’s see what happens if we try one more time.”
Why It Works:
When kids feel recognized for their persistence, they start to believe in their ability to overcome challenges. This builds confidence—not the kind that comes from winning, but the kind that lasts because it’s rooted in effort and determination.
A Finishing Touch:
Failure might sting in the moment, but it’s a priceless teacher when we let it be. By helping kids reframe failure and celebrating their effort to try again, we’re giving them tools they’ll use for a lifetime.
And if they still look skeptical, remind them of this: if you fall seven times, just make sure you stand up eight times.
Meet your blogger…
Meghan Miller, PsyD, LP, is a clinical psychologist who is passionate about helping children, teens, and families. She earned her degree in Clinical Psychology with a focus on Child and Family Therapy from the Minnesota School of Professional Psychology in 2011. Throughout her career, Dr. Miller has worked in community mental health centers, addiction treatment programs, and residential care facilities, providing therapy and psychological assessments to people of all ages. She cares deeply about making a broad impact and has developed programs to support students' success and personal growth. With over 10 years of experience coaching gymnastics, Dr. Miller combines her knowledge of mental health with her love of working with young athletes to help them build confidence and reach their potential.
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